Currently Listening Lost and Found By Mudvayne IMN see related

Ok, I am feeling really down today actually.  I have days once in a while where I just feel so bad.  I just feel so lost if that is the word.  I feel like everyone and everything has abandoned me.  I mean, there are people who love me in my family and who would help me, but is their kind of help the kind of help that I am really seeking.  Most of my family will just tell me what I have done wrong already.  I thing I know pretty well what I've done wrong in my life.  That is between me and God and only me and God.  My relationship with God, I believe, only stays there, between me and God and NO ONE else.  But, I guess that is beside the point.  I just feel that no one in the world could ever fully understand or grasp my problems and struggles.  It's not that I think that I have it worse than everyone and that's why no one would be able to understand, it's just that I think that my problems are only experienced by me, so I am the only one that fully understands them, which sometimes, I even doubt that very thing.  Sometimes I wonder if I even fully understand my own problems.  That's actually more of a reason that other people would never understand them.  I don't know what to think.  I just think that maybe I am just supposed to suffer for a little while.  Maybe God is just punishing me and I am just meant to suffer through it.  Bleed a little, so that I can start with fresh blood.  After all, sins are never truly relieved without the shedding of blood somehow.

,,Bestrafe Mich! Der Herrgott nimmt, der Herrgott gibt!´´

(Punish me! God takes, God gives!)--Rammstein