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Trauriges_Glueck
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Name: Wesley
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Springfield
Birthday: 3/17/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: As I mentioned above, I love culture and psychology...those are actually pretty broad categories, but I also love most of the subordinate subjects that exist under them. I love the German language most, but plan to learn others later, and I want to travel Europe. I am not exactly for sure yet specifically what I want to do in Psychology, but I know it is something within that field. I am ver open-minded and love things that are different. And, of course, since I am gay, I like guys.... :D
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  traurigesglueck
MSN: welmlinger@charter.net
ICQ:  253235844
Yahoo:  ykthahs
Member Since:
9/2/2005
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| HOMOPHOBIA
• I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
• I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
• I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
• We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
• I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they
would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
• I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of
being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I
have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
• I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the
attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I
will probably be able to walk again.
• I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just
weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
• We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when
she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
• I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should
use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
• I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the
children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit
mother because I now live with another woman.
• I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support
system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive
partner is also a woman.
• I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
• I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
• I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
• I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me
as soon as they realized I was transsexual. (yes, this actually
happened)
• I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could
be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society
hating me.
• I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I
don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
• I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
• I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
• I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and
left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
• I am the gay male student that had to switch to another
high school on my senior year, because I told my teachers that I was
gay. One said that I was going to hell the other wanted to cure me.
***Post this everywhere you can if you believe homophobia is wrong***
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| I know I actually haven't updated my site in any way for a very long time, but I wanted to put this new poem on there. Sometimes in life, we just become morbidly.....upset, I'll say.....and these kind of poems result.
"Darkness
Darkness
Creeping in
Take Away the Pain.
Save me, Save me
Save me now
Save me from the Pain.
Slow, Slow
Slow the Blood
Bleed away the Pain.
Down, Down
Run the Tears
Cry away the Pain.
Breathe, Breathe
Gasp for Air
Dry away the Pain.
Trembling hands,
Trembling limbs
Shake away the Pain.
Repeat, Repeat
Repeat Again
Take away the Pain.
Screaming, Screaming
Loud again
Scream away the Pain.
Gripping, Gripping
Fingers fast
Rip away the Pain.
Flesh from bone
Pain will last
Tear away the Pain.
In a rush
Life is blurred
Fades away the Pain.
Then at last,
No more word
And,
Taken Away is the Pain."
Wesley C. Elmlinger '06
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| Ok, I know that it has been a while since my last entry, but I have been at home visiting my family, and just haven't done it....I don't really have much to say. I just can't think of anything, I guess..........I got a small mp3 player for Christmas, but that's really all that was good. Anyway, I will just leave it at that...
"In meiner Kette fehlt kein Glied
Wenn die Lust von hinten zieht
Mein Geschlecht schimpft mich Verräter
Ich bin der Alptraum aller Väter
"Mann gegen Mann
Meine Haut gehört den Herren
Mann gegen Mann
Gleich und gleich gesellt sich gern"
[No links are missing in my chain / Whenever the desire comes from behind / My sex scolds me, "Traitor!" / I am the nightmare of all fathers / Man on Man / My skin belongs to gentlemen / Man on Man / Equal and Equal like to gather themselves together (Birds of a feather flock together)]
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| Ok, I am feeling really down today actually. I have days once in a while where I just feel so bad. I just feel so lost if that is the word. I feel like everyone and everything has abandoned me. I mean, there are people who love me in my family and who would help me, but is their kind of help the kind of help that I am really seeking. Most of my family will just tell me what I have done wrong already. I thing I know pretty well what I've done wrong in my life. That is between me and God and only me and God. My relationship with God, I believe, only stays there, between me and God and NO ONE else. But, I guess that is beside the point. I just feel that no one in the world could ever fully understand or grasp my problems and struggles. It's not that I think that I have it worse than everyone and that's why no one would be able to understand, it's just that I think that my problems are only experienced by me, so I am the only one that fully understands them, which sometimes, I even doubt that very thing. Sometimes I wonder if I even fully understand my own problems. That's actually more of a reason that other people would never understand them. I don't know what to think. I just think that maybe I am just supposed to suffer for a little while. Maybe God is just punishing me and I am just meant to suffer through it. Bleed a little, so that I can start with fresh blood. After all, sins are never truly relieved without the shedding of blood somehow.
,,Bestrafe Mich! Der Herrgott nimmt, der Herrgott gibt!´´
(Punish me! God takes, God gives!)--Rammstein | | |
| Well, I am totally feeling down today...I don't even know why...I just don't really have much energy, and I am trying not to show it...I am easily irritated today too...That is really strange because I am taking my pills. They normally work really well, so I just don't know why they aren't working now. I don't like it. I know it's not the weather because it has been just all of a sudden. I wasn't feeling this way yesterday or during the weekend. I don't know....I don't even know if I have the energy to write in this blog anymore... | | |
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